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[personal profile] rhythmia
Via acentric @ tumblr:


What I picture when people say "I don't swing that way":

So, the heterosexuals are on the swingset, swinging back and forth like most people do.

And then there are the homosexuals swinging, like, side to side or something.

The bisexuals are sort of alternating between the two, and the pansexuals are just twisting their swing up in a knot and crashing into everyone like “fuck the police i do what i want”

And then the asexuals are just chilling out in the sandbox all alone, like: HEY GUISE, LOOK AT THE CASTLE I MADE GUISE, LOOK GUISE IT HAS A MOTE. GUISE. LOOK.


Ahahaha best analogy ever y/y? XDD I'll be over here in the sandbox, going, "Dude, swings are cool but hey, lookit my awesome artsy fartsy sand castle, it's got a turret and I found a cool leaf for the flag and there's a moat, c'mon guys come play with me!"

Brb crying with laughter XDDD

Heee! (Part 1)

Date: 2011-07-27 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kegom.livejournal.com
I love that image! ^-^ And it totally amuses me that, when I first read your post, it took me at least five minutes of going "...but I often like swinging better than building sand-castles..." before I got the idea that, oh yes, this is supposed to be a metaphor for sex, so yeah, in that sense I do like building sand-castles better than swinging! XD

And then I thought about Arashi and swinging and suddenly I had this asexy!Sho ficlet in my head that I'm totally going to inflict on you now, because this is the first Arashi story I've actually finished in more than a year (I think), and I'm unduly excited about it. ;P


So here goes (stop reading if you aren't interested):



If someone asked Sho which way he swings, he’d probably look confused for a moment and then, very likely with a still slightly confused smile, offer that he generally swings back and forth, like most people do. He probably wouldn’t catch onto the second meaning of that phrase until he sat in his car on the way back from work, thinking about the weird questions people sometimes ask.
That, right there, should be the biggest clue.

Sho knows that Aiba “swings” the way the majority of the world does. Put him onto an actual swing-set together with Nino, though, and suddenly things are quite different. Especially when Jun’s occupying the swing next to them: While Matsumoto tries to swing back and forth in the conventional way, Nino and Aiba do their very best to swing violently into whatever direction they can manage and into Jun’s path as often as Newton’s laws allow (and quite a few times when Newton’s laws really shouldn’t allow it as well). The fact that their swing ends up in a knot more often than not only seems to add to their pleasure, just like the fact that Jun tends to get somewhat irritated by their wilful ignorance of swinging conventions. Of course it’s probably not all that helpful that usually Leader will be there as well, putting in his own little jabs, pushes and tickles whenever the other three are least expecting it. Ohno’s sneaky like that, Sho knows. He’ll be sitting on a swing, swaying gently forth and back, looking all innocent to the world, and then he’ll suddenly do something that results in everyone around him suddenly moving in ways they hadn’t quite anticipated. Well, everyone except Nino, probably, who still does that freaky brain-sharing thing with Ohno.

Heee! Part 2

Date: 2011-07-27 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kegom.livejournal.com
Ack, sorry for the triple post, the problems LJ has at the moment are responsible for that. :(


Anyway, here's the next part!


[cont.]

If there are two people in Arashi – or in general, really – that Sho thinks might understand him best, it’s Nino and Ohno, because their relationship has always been intimate, but it’s never been about sex. Oh, they flirt and they tease and snuggle and adore each other to pieces, but in the end they don’t “swing” that way. That doesn’t make them love each other any less – and sometimes when he sees the way the people around them glance at them, the confused “is this real?” in their eyes, he thinks that he might be the person who understand them best, too. Of course it’s real. Not being about sex doesn’t make love and devotion any less real, or any less important.

Sho likes swings, but unlike Matsumoto, who adores swinging like he adores roller-coasters and being suspended from entirely insufficient cables fifteen meters above the ground, he likes building sand-castles even more. There’s something immensely satisfying in making a vision come to life like that, and thinking about strategic entryways and the best places to build something that might stop an imaginary army from taking the castle.
“You should build a moat,” a voice behind him says. Sho squints at Nino, who’s standing there with his arms crossed, surveying Sho’s work critically.
Aiba crouches next to him. “We could dig one right here,” he says, drawing a line in the sand around Sho’s sand-castle.
“That’s either too close to the walls or too far from them, depending on what you want,” Jun, who gave up his swing in order to see what caught his band-mates’ attention, offers. “If you want the walls protected by the moat, you’ll need it closer, right at the bottom of the walls. If you want archers or footmen with javelins to defend the bottom of the walls, you’d need to make the space around the castle wider.”
Ohno leans over Sho and plants a daisy on the top of Sho’s castle. “It’s the flag,” he explains in answer to Sho’s questioning glance. Sho grins at him. Really, why do people even care about whatever way someone swings, when the really important thing is whether they’re willing to help you build a sand-castle?

…Until Nino and Ohno are evil little imps again who suddenly start batting for the other – imaginary, castle-invading – team (or army, rather) and make Aiba stumble and fall right onto the so carefully built sand-fortress, that is.

But that’s a story for another day.


From: [identity profile] rhythmia.livejournal.com
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

You're amazing! I've been waiting and waiting for LJ's server issues to be resolved so I can finally give you the reply you deserve. If I knew how to bake I would totally send you cookies, because you're so lovely and I can't believe that the first I hear from you in a while you're dropping lovely fic in my lap. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Haha yes, I'm a swing kind of person too but in this metaphor, I'm jamming in the sandbox.

I just had the biggest grin on my face the whoooole time I was reading this.

While Matsumoto tries to swing back and forth in the conventional way, Nino and Aiba do their very best to swing violently into whatever direction they can manage and into Jun’s path as often as Newton’s laws allow (and quite a few times when Newton’s laws really shouldn’t allow it as well)

Heeeee I love that, I love your parenthetical and that behavior is *so* Nino and Aiba. *pats Sho*

I adore your entire paragraph about Nino and Ohno, it completely sums up how I feel about their relationship. A giant YES to the lines about love and devotion being real regardless of sex, that doesn't necessarily elevate the relationship to being better or more valuable.

hahaha Jun loving being suspended from entirely insufficient cables, Sho your life is so hard.

Mmm, Arashi helping each other to build castles and then flatten them. The love and friendship and connection is so lovely and real and palpable. I just wanna hug everyone, and you most of all. Thank you for this fic, m'dear. ♥ Would you mind if I link to it in the main or another entry?

also how are you doing?

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