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Still not dead! \o/ So Gyzym is one of those lovely people who I enjoy following because she writes delicious fic, posts ridiculously funny things, and writes heartfelt and damn useful posts when the mood strikes.

So, via Gyzym on tumblr:

so! here are some things to keep in mind when a friend or loved one comes out to you as queer, because someone apparently needs to say them somewhere!

[a quick note: i am using queer as an umbrella term to encompass the various and assorted different variants of gender and sexual identity. for more information on those variants, feel free to check out this website.]

1. this is not about you.

certainly—certainly!—it may feel like it is. you may be thinking of how this information impacts your life, or how you feel about it; you may be remembering your own experiences with queer perceptions, or queer people, or queer pamphlets, for all i care. and you know what? that’s just fine. on your own time, you may feel free to pour yourself a large cup of tea and work out how you feel about this new development in your life! that’s natural and normal; we, as human beings, have feelings about everything from our families to our favorite brands of cereal, and none of them are wrong.

however! when you are with the person who has come out to you, especially in the immediate wake of that conversation, you must swallow that down, because it is selfish! talking about your feelings on someone else’s coming out is like talking about your feelings on someone else’s loss—and i should point out, at this point, that i do not in any way mean to equate coming out as, or indeed being, queer with any kind of tragedy. it isn’t, and we will get to that in a second. i use loss only because it is the clearest parallel in terms of depth of feeling; the person who has come out to you, let’s just call them Person A, has done so against the weight of a thousand coming out stories that resolved badly, against the negativity still in our media and politics, against the fact that, just to use one example, as recently as 1973, “homosexuality” was listed as a psychological disorder by the American Psychiatric Organization! even if you are a deeply tolerant person and have made that known, there is still, always, the fear that your tolerance does not extend to Person A specifically! thus, the loss parallel makes sense, in the sense that some part of Person A is more emotionally raw than usual—the same way you would not respond to someone’s discussion of the loss of a family member with all the ways that loss was negatively affecting your life, you should not respond to someone’s coming out with it’s negative effects on you. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. maybe, at some point, when Person A is in a less raw place, you can have that conversation, but that is their call, because, again, not about you.

2. being queer is not a tragedy.

one of the things my mother said to me over and over after i came out to her: “i’m just worried about your safety.” and you know what, that was, in its way, incredibly sweet of her; she, as my mother, loved me enough that the idea of me being hurt for who i was kept her up nights. that warms my heart! but it also made me feel small and scared and wrong every time she said that, and it took me a long time to figure out why.

Click the link above for the whole post. Worth the read, as it may come in handy for just about anybody.

Hope everyone is doing well! ♥
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Hahah, long time no see LJ-land. ^_^

[livejournal.com profile] waxrose just reminded me that I ought to post something and prove I aten't ded yet.

Thing one: I have a new car! A 2010 used Toyota Yaris, purchased on Mole Day (10/23) :D Pictures to follow. It's cute and looks like a blue jellybean.

Thing two: I do surveys with this group called Pinecone Research (associated with Nielson) from time to time and they're doing a round of open memberships. I originally got into it because [livejournal.com profile] mousapelli posted about it a while back, and I've been doing it for a couple years now.

You fill out a detailed product survey maybe once, twice a month, it takes 20 minutes or so, and then you get three dollars. It's cool, and sure, it's not much, but three bucks is still three bucks. ;P You can click on the referral link below if you'd be interested. Only one registration per household though.


And for more info, http://www.pineconeresearch.com//about.HTM and http://www.pineconeresearch.com//policy.htm

Thing three: How are all you lovely people doing? ♥
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Via acentric @ tumblr:

What I picture when people say "I don't swing that way":

So, the heterosexuals are on the swingset, swinging back and forth like most people do.

And then there are the homosexuals swinging, like, side to side or something.

The bisexuals are sort of alternating between the two, and the pansexuals are just twisting their swing up in a knot and crashing into everyone like “fuck the police i do what i want”

And then the asexuals are just chilling out in the sandbox all alone, like: HEY GUISE, LOOK AT THE CASTLE I MADE GUISE, LOOK GUISE IT HAS A MOTE. GUISE. LOOK.

Ahahaha best analogy ever y/y? XDD I'll be over here in the sandbox, going, "Dude, swings are cool but hey, lookit my awesome artsy fartsy sand castle, it's got a turret and I found a cool leaf for the flag and there's a moat, c'mon guys come play with me!"

Brb crying with laughter XDDD
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Musings that have been floating around in my brain for the past several months re: fic and changing bodies and identity and gender and how that plays out in different fandoms.

Okay, so you know those fics where X character wakes up or gets zapped by an Ancient machine or magic or what-have-you, and a previously female character ends up in a male body, or a male one ends up in a female body? (I've never read anything where the author tackled intersex people, so I can't speak for those)

It kind of varies between fandoms, but I've been noticing a spate of it in the Japanese/Jpop and Korean/Kpop fandoms I'm in lately. And it happens a lot where when, say a male character wakes up in a female body, suddenly everyone around them is awkward and treats them like they changed genders, and switch pronouns, and that character starts trying to display traits marked as "feminine", and usually somewhere in there we have a party of describing their new appearance (and clothes) and somehow sex ends up getting involved in the name of exploration.

...honestly I am guilty of some that in one fic I wrote, but that fic gave me so much trouble because I was adamant about keeping the pronouns, because in my head I *knew* the characters still thought of themselves as male, they were in essence borrowing the bodies for a while, and deciding to try performing a different gender as part of the experience. But I still felt kinda icky at myself for putting them through that gaze experience of "hey, let's dress you up girly and describe every bit of how you look for the audience now". Sorry for putting you through it, lovely betas! ^^;;

And honestly I should have known better than to call it genderswap, given all the stuff I've done in school about sex and gender not being the same thing. But that was the term available, and I didn't think to try a new or different one. And then I hit Kpop fic and the pronoun-switching was going on all over the place. On second thought, it might with a stretch be considered genderswap because the authors were making their body-switched characters think of themselves as a different gender, and perform a different gender. It still kind of bothered me that the sexswap caused the person to suddenly change their behavior and thought-processes so much, because in most cases I'm not sure the author was trying to discuss issues of gender identity at all.

Anyway, I'd hesitated to post anything about it because while I like being kind of androgynous, I mostly identify female and I don't think of myself as being trans, so I didn't want to speak for that experience.

Luckily! And the point of this post! Iambickilometer made a post called Five+ Ways Being Transgender in Fandom Really Sucks, and Why I Stick With It Anyway and [livejournal.com profile] gyzym linked to it and had some interesting discussion of her own here.

I'm curious about your thoughts? .____.

...love to you all, I'm still alive. ♥
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I will never get back the last 1 hour and 40 minutes I spent watching The Hangover, so I figured I will relieve my feelings and at the same time write about things that give me joy. ^^;;;

Let the Right One In )

Trainman (Densha Otoko 電車男) )

The Hangover )

Yes, so I am alive! The movies I did recommend are worth spending a little time on, I think, and I am going hunting for the Densha Otoko novel once I have time to go to the library. At some point I will do a post about my trip to China for my cousin's wedding, and have pictures. Here's hoping that will actually be before New Year's, haha. Love to all you darlings! ♥
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I refuse to link Elizabeth Moon's lovely (*sarcasm) rant about Muslims and assimilation and how WE MUST ALL BE ASSIMILATED (read: erase our own cultures to fit into WASP-y middle class US culture) for immigration to succeed. Yeah, um, no.

However! I'm doing a signal boost because [livejournal.com profile] shweta_narayan is a beautiful, brave person and wrote out her own experiences trying to assimilate. The comments are also kind of amazing, and unifying, because issues of assimilation and immigration happen world-wide, and history is cycling around again and things are getting a little hairy. *gives Arizona the side-eye*

Anyhow, love to all of you dears, this is me shaking a little and venting in the middle of the night when I really ought to be in bed.
rhythmia: (Default)
Still alive. At some point I should probably post about life.

In the meantime! I found this via friendsfriends and it's very interesting to me. [livejournal.com profile] gnine has this to say:

"As you may or may not know, I’m currently working on my MA in Critical Media and Cultural Studies at University of London, SOAS (School of Oriental and African Studies). For my thesis, I’m delving into the question of how culture, one’s own, as well as that of the source material one is fanning on, affects how fans identify and interact with said media and the fandoms surrounding them.

I am very aware that academic scrutiny of fandom has at times been…less than pleasant, shall we say. With that in mind, I’d like to make clear that it is not my intent to place fen or fandom under the microscope, but rather to use them as one concrete example in the broader investigation of culture’s impact on the field of media studies."

Here is her survey, and I figure my flist is an interesting spectrum of people, who may also be intrigued by her topic. So. Have at! I already did my tl;dr thing on her post.

I'm curious to see what people say, because I've had interesting experiences being in both Western fandoms and East Asian fandoms and RPF and books and whatnot. Heck, if people want to have discussion here, I'm always up for it. :D

Love to y'all~
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I am totally a 12-year-old, endlessly fascinated with things like mutant teeth and getting stitches. So this is totally cut for the easily squicked, and to spare erjika's sensibilities :D )

I just think it's so cool. And I get the BEST stories from customers about their sliced finger adventures. The gal at the bank told me a story when I was making a deposit. XD

Thing 2: http://www.strindbergandhelium.com.
My freshman year of college, my awesome roommate and I randomly surfed to the Sundance film festival page, and watched a bunch of animated shorts. This set of entries changed our lives. In the sense that I have spread it like a virus among my school friends and it continues to inform our conversations to this day. :D And after 8 years, there will be more!

...I pride myself on my Helium voice. :DDDDDD

Thing 3: @[livejournal.com profile] erjika: BALLS. :3

Thing 4: Going to the Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley tomorrow! Deaf event for ASL class, and first time going to that museum. Awesomeness.

Thing 5: Hope all you lovelies are doing well. ♥
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For those of you who haven't heard yet, last November California put civil rights up for a vote. Marriage equality. And it lost. Yeah, I know, and this is my home. >.<

This January, Proposition 8 was taken before a Ninth Circuit (Federal) judge to challenge it's constitutionality. Judge Walker took public comment and was going to allow the trial to be publicly televised and also broadcast on Youtube. Defendants (pro-8) appealed to the Supreme Court, who said nope, can't do it.

So! There are transcripts at a variety of wonderful places, such as http://prop8trialtracker.com, www.firedoglake.com (there's a few people writing there in several different posts, but there's always someone at trialtracker linking to the relevant posts in the comments), the San Jose Mercury News (My home newspaper! The link is to day 6, but just check out the sidebars), and the ever informative KQED public tv station.

And from the transcripts, the awesome people at http://marriagetrial.com/ will be putting up a re-enactment of the courtroom. Starting Wednesday, I believe. An article about what they're doing can be found here!
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Parts one and two here.

Reading these two parts of the liveblogging, and then the *comments*, goodness the comments. It's making me want to cry.

Dr. Ilan H. Meyer, Associate Professor of Clinical Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health is up. He will testify about the stigma and prejudice gay and lesbians individuals face in society.

The testimonies, the sociological and mental health data, the arguments are staggering. And then the community of commenters that have grown up around this liveblogging is just amazing. Different peoples' stories make me want to cry and cheer and rage, and everyone is so supportive of each other.
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So the Prop 8 trial in my good ol' state of California started Monday. Supreme Court ruled against allowing live media coverage. So much for transparency.

to try to make up for that, the Courage Campaign is doing live blogging from the courtroom.


Please check it out.

Reading through the first couple of days of courtroom summaries is amazingly edifying. A couple of the expert witnesses give us a crash course in the history of marriage in the United States, history of LGBT discrimination in the US, and lots of sociological tidbits. Also the folks commenting on the liveblogging are building into a thriving community, and people are sharing relevant links left and right.

Also! A hilariously relevant flash animation as SF Gate.
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I'll be getting to the comments from the other posts in just a bit. Ehehehe, I don't think I've posted this much since I went to Taiwan last year, and I appreciate the comments and debates going on. Just so you know, I haven't left Arashi behind; there's some stuff in the works but since I've been following what's going on in Iran I haven't quiiiite finished it up yet.

Anyhow, an interesting set of three perspectives in the Room For Debate section of the NYT.

Teaser: We asked three Iranian-American scholars, including two who are writing from Iran, to give their thoughts on what the uprising has revealed about the schisms in Iranian society."

The Arabs' Forlorn Envy of Iranians. It's kind of a provocative title, but the analysis of different views of what's going on in Iran from the perspectives of various Arab nations is quite interesting.

Related to that, The Arab world reacts (or doesn't). In the NYT Room For Debate section.

Mixed Media also takes a look at the varied response in the newspapers in Arab states.

Also, you can always count on the Daily Show for something funny and insightful. Has embedded video. Jon Stewart: "I just want to garden!" Also they manage to interview (in classic Daily Show fashion) three major figures before they got arrested.

Next set of articles are ones I've been bookmarking the past few days, concerning the women's movement in Iran, and women's position.

First up, this one's during the campaign, Zahra Rahnavard's work in her husband Mousavi's campaign. In the LA Times. An interesting comparison with our Secretary of State.

Right after the election, in huffingtonpost: Iranian Women: We Feel Cheated, Frustrated, And Betrayed.

This one's neat: The Lesley Stahl Interview: Christiane Amanpour, at the Height of the Iranian Election Crisis. Eight (short) pages of fascinating interview, including analysis of the Green movement, on the role of women in Iran's history, and her role as a journalist.

And finally, Democracy, made in Iran, from the Guardian on Iran's complicated history with the U.S.

ETA From Narcosphere, Brainstorming Iran: An X-Ray of Immediate History. A more, hmmm. I'm not sure of the proper label that applies, since left-wing doesn't really fit. But an activist view of things? Very interesting breakdown.

ETA 2 Family, friends mourn 'Neda,' Iranian woman who died on video. She's a symbol of the movement now, but this article is about her as a person, before the martyr.

ETA 3 An Exclusive Interview with a Pro-Ahmadinejad Cleric in Qom, Iran. Another viewpoint, though you can kind of tell the interviewer's biases. Read between the lines, as with any of the articles I'm linking.
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Even in a Tainted Election, Voting Still Matters. By Azadeh Moaveni. A bit of history, the run up to the election.

This election is making me think a lot about the way we run our elections here. I've always voted absentee. And now I'm wondering, I need to do some research - are my ballots actually counted? Should I change to voting in person in my precinct? I'll be getting back to you about that, if I find anything.
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From the New Yorker, a letter from an Iranian resident. About the last few days, a bit of history, and how people are changing.

From The New York Times, an article by Roger Cohen, on the ground in Iran.

Quote of the day:
"I received this from an anonymous Iranian student: “I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to be killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes, maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow!”

And she concludes: “I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so that they know we were not just emotional under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mogols but did not surrender to despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children.” "
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On youtube here. Not gonna lie, I cried. You can hear the pain and worry and hope and sorrow in her voice.

A thought: You can dam and divert a river. But you can't even hope to dam an ocean, and that's what this is becoming. This is the major historical moment of our times.

Question to the flist: Is having all these little posts as I come across things in the aggregate blogs all right? Or would you prefer me to just have a big honking Iran 2009 post at the top of my journal to add things to?
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I've been following this for the last three days. Full of worry, and fear for the people there, and hope. Please, if you do nothing else, read and inform yourself. Spread their stories, because now is not the time to look away and say, These are not my people and not my struggles. However, if you're not in the right mental place for it at this time, that's fine, but if you are, please read and share.

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

دموکراسی شعار ماست -- خشونت انزجار ماست
Democracy is our right, we despise violence.

- original post by [livejournal.com profile] one_hoopy_frood

Book meme

Jun. 11th, 2009 12:45 am
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Drank too much tea when I met with my statistics study group tonight. Borders does tea service! Yum, but I wasn't expecting the caffeine to affect me so much. ^^;;

Stolen from all over the internet, I'm sure, but most recently from the lovely [livejournal.com profile] nicocoer.

Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that will always stick with you -- list the first 15 you can recall in 15 minutes. Don't take too long to think about it. Tag 15 friends (& while it is easy to tag more, part of the challenge is to think about which 15 friends would have the weirdest or most interesting book list), including me. If you don't want to play, no sweat. Feel free to go about your business. Here are mine, in no particular order (and these are just the 15 for today, at this moment):

Lots of sci-fi and fantasy and weird things below :D )
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So today was the last day of business at the store I manage. So tired. But I still had an art attack after re-reading [livejournal.com profile] waxrose's part 42 in [livejournal.com profile] arashiroadtrip.

Title: Puddlejumping
Fandom: Arashi
Rating: Holding hands under umbrellas
Media: Ink wash, color pencils, markers, micron pens

follow the fake-cut!

Nino rolls his eyes. "That's why I brought this," he answers, handing over a smaller, rainbow-striped umbrella. "Not that I wouldn't love to save you from the big, scary rainclouds, but Satoshi and I are going puddle-jumping, so I think you can find your own way back to the house."
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[livejournal.com profile] ontherainbow [livejournal.com profile] ontherainbow[livejournal.com profile] ontherainbow

The best comm joining decision I've ever made, and there's only two posts on the comm so far. :D
A place to discuss lgbt/queer issues in the context of Johnny's Entertainment (my jpop boyband included), and so far there is amazing discussion. Sparklies and intelligent, well-thought out comments, and I'm excited about possible posts to come. Genderswap in fanfiction, attitudes towards RPS, gender and sexuality performance...*gleefully geeks out*

[livejournal.com profile] waxrose, ILU FOR STARTING THIS COMM. ♥
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My brother just showed me this. So cute. But. ;_;

Kiwi! is a little 3-D animation about, well, a kiwi bird. Watch it, but maybe not when you're in a sad mood?


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