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Still not dead! \o/ So Gyzym is one of those lovely people who I enjoy following because she writes delicious fic, posts ridiculously funny things, and writes heartfelt and damn useful posts when the mood strikes.

So, via Gyzym on tumblr:

so! here are some things to keep in mind when a friend or loved one comes out to you as queer, because someone apparently needs to say them somewhere!

[a quick note: i am using queer as an umbrella term to encompass the various and assorted different variants of gender and sexual identity. for more information on those variants, feel free to check out this website.]

1. this is not about you.

certainly—certainly!—it may feel like it is. you may be thinking of how this information impacts your life, or how you feel about it; you may be remembering your own experiences with queer perceptions, or queer people, or queer pamphlets, for all i care. and you know what? that’s just fine. on your own time, you may feel free to pour yourself a large cup of tea and work out how you feel about this new development in your life! that’s natural and normal; we, as human beings, have feelings about everything from our families to our favorite brands of cereal, and none of them are wrong.

however! when you are with the person who has come out to you, especially in the immediate wake of that conversation, you must swallow that down, because it is selfish! talking about your feelings on someone else’s coming out is like talking about your feelings on someone else’s loss—and i should point out, at this point, that i do not in any way mean to equate coming out as, or indeed being, queer with any kind of tragedy. it isn’t, and we will get to that in a second. i use loss only because it is the clearest parallel in terms of depth of feeling; the person who has come out to you, let’s just call them Person A, has done so against the weight of a thousand coming out stories that resolved badly, against the negativity still in our media and politics, against the fact that, just to use one example, as recently as 1973, “homosexuality” was listed as a psychological disorder by the American Psychiatric Organization! even if you are a deeply tolerant person and have made that known, there is still, always, the fear that your tolerance does not extend to Person A specifically! thus, the loss parallel makes sense, in the sense that some part of Person A is more emotionally raw than usual—the same way you would not respond to someone’s discussion of the loss of a family member with all the ways that loss was negatively affecting your life, you should not respond to someone’s coming out with it’s negative effects on you. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. maybe, at some point, when Person A is in a less raw place, you can have that conversation, but that is their call, because, again, not about you.

2. being queer is not a tragedy.

one of the things my mother said to me over and over after i came out to her: “i’m just worried about your safety.” and you know what, that was, in its way, incredibly sweet of her; she, as my mother, loved me enough that the idea of me being hurt for who i was kept her up nights. that warms my heart! but it also made me feel small and scared and wrong every time she said that, and it took me a long time to figure out why.

Click the link above for the whole post. Worth the read, as it may come in handy for just about anybody.

Hope everyone is doing well! ♥
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Hahah, long time no see LJ-land. ^_^

[livejournal.com profile] waxrose just reminded me that I ought to post something and prove I aten't ded yet.

Thing one: I have a new car! A 2010 used Toyota Yaris, purchased on Mole Day (10/23) :D Pictures to follow. It's cute and looks like a blue jellybean.

Thing two: I do surveys with this group called Pinecone Research (associated with Nielson) from time to time and they're doing a round of open memberships. I originally got into it because [livejournal.com profile] mousapelli posted about it a while back, and I've been doing it for a couple years now.

You fill out a detailed product survey maybe once, twice a month, it takes 20 minutes or so, and then you get three dollars. It's cool, and sure, it's not much, but three bucks is still three bucks. ;P You can click on the referral link below if you'd be interested. Only one registration per household though.


And for more info, http://www.pineconeresearch.com//about.HTM and http://www.pineconeresearch.com//policy.htm

Thing three: How are all you lovely people doing? ♥

ASL! \o/

May. 21st, 2011 01:15 pm
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Just posting to say that I'm happy. I have the day off, going to visit Husband and her new baby, get some chores done.

Yesterday night I went to another Deaf Coffee social at Starbucks. I've been going almost monthly for the last couple of years, and usually when I meet people I just fingerspell my name, which begins with an H. You know how usually when you learn a foreign language, the teacher will give you a name in that language? I had a French name, my classmates got Chinese names (I already had one), and a Spanish name.

In Deaf culture, someone gives you a name sign. Usually it's based on some attribute (not always flattering), kinda like the way in some parts of Chinese and other cultures you'll get nicknames based on some attribute (Chubby Yuan, Little Yu, etc), or a guy I know called Tall John.

Anyway, for the last almost two years, I fingerspelled my name. I figured at some point, I'd meet enough people, and maybe a friend would give me one. So last night one of my friends introduced me to another Deaf friend of theirs, and he asked me what my name sign was when I introduced myself. I told him I didn't have one....and he gave me one! *dances* Haha my classmate dragged me out to show our teacher.

What is it? If you look up the way to fingerspell "H", it's with your index and middle fingers together, fingers held parallel to the ground, but the palm is oriented vertically (perpendicular to the ground). For my name sign, hold the H at the corner of my mouth, because apparently I have a dimple when I smile really big? Yeah. :D

Hope all is well with everyone~ what are you lovelies up to? ♥
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I will never get back the last 1 hour and 40 minutes I spent watching The Hangover, so I figured I will relieve my feelings and at the same time write about things that give me joy. ^^;;;

Let the Right One In )

Trainman (Densha Otoko 電車男) )

The Hangover )

Yes, so I am alive! The movies I did recommend are worth spending a little time on, I think, and I am going hunting for the Densha Otoko novel once I have time to go to the library. At some point I will do a post about my trip to China for my cousin's wedding, and have pictures. Here's hoping that will actually be before New Year's, haha. Love to all you darlings! ♥
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Still alive, I promise. I hope all of you are doing well, or at least tolerably. ^^

-Going to China (Guangzhou, specifically) for my cousin's wedding, so I'll be gone from November 5 in the evening until I come back November 20. Whoo, 13-14 hour flights.

-Which brings me to my next point. Fic prompts please! So I'll have something to do while I fly alone for so many hours, since I can't bring my knitting. I'm kind of rusty but I'd like to get some practice, since I was re-reading that one Valentine's Day challenge I wrote waaaay back that suddenly got new comments on it, and totally wincing my way through it. Ehehehe. Part of it was the premise was executed kind of poorly (really, I should have known better, but the idea hit me while I was delirious and I just went with it) and part of it was just the writing quality. >.>

So fandoms I will attempt to write for: Arashi, I'm willing to try my hand at Skip Beat!, Ouran High School Host Club, and maaaaaybe Inception (I think I'd like to explore Ariadne, Yusuf, and Saito, but I'm scared of writing them wrong despite having seen the movie twice, hehe). Possibly Super Junior M but I think my impressions of them are too strongly influenced by fandom. I want to write more girls/women! :D

Hit me with your best shot!

<3 to you all~


Sep. 1st, 2010 11:05 pm
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This...should probably be obvious. Please to not be cross-posting any comments and what have you on this journal to facebook or twitter. Not that I'm all that crazy anyway, but just in case. :P

Hope all you lovelies are doing well. ♥ Day 3 of new job, still haven't managed to blow anything up yet.
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First day at the new job, administrative assistant, aka glorified receptionist. Learned shiny new things, so far so good. Didn't blow anything up.

It's still the 30th here, so I figure I'll join the bandwagon and wish Jun-face a happy birthday. ;P No matter how far I range in fandoms (even though I'm currently neck deep in Inception fic and playing around in Super Junior M and various other Korean groups), Arashi's proved to keep their hold on me. ^_^

Hope all you lovely folks are doing well, I'll try to be better at, um, being alive. <3
rhythmia: (Default)
I am totally a 12-year-old, endlessly fascinated with things like mutant teeth and getting stitches. So this is totally cut for the easily squicked, and to spare erjika's sensibilities :D )

I just think it's so cool. And I get the BEST stories from customers about their sliced finger adventures. The gal at the bank told me a story when I was making a deposit. XD

Thing 2: http://www.strindbergandhelium.com.
My freshman year of college, my awesome roommate and I randomly surfed to the Sundance film festival page, and watched a bunch of animated shorts. This set of entries changed our lives. In the sense that I have spread it like a virus among my school friends and it continues to inform our conversations to this day. :D And after 8 years, there will be more!

...I pride myself on my Helium voice. :DDDDDD

Thing 3: @[livejournal.com profile] erjika: BALLS. :3

Thing 4: Going to the Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley tomorrow! Deaf event for ASL class, and first time going to that museum. Awesomeness.

Thing 5: Hope all you lovelies are doing well. ♥
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400 applicants, only 38 accepted this year. So full speed ahead finding a new full-time job, and I'll definitely reapply next year. Here's hoping SJSU's financial situation will be better next year, ehehe.

So now I have to break it to the professors who wrote my letters. Urg. On the bright side, this means I'll likely be more flexible about being able to go to China in the fall for my cousin's wedding.

In other news, the stitches are coming out tomorrow! So I'll post up pictures of my Frankenstein-monster fingers. :D

Hope all of you are well~ ♥
rhythmia: (Default)
+ Survived the CBEST test!
- Frustrated the hell out of myself because I did the second essay first, but wrote it on the sheet for the first essay. D: So I had to transcribe it to the proper sheet and erase the wrong part. Wasted about twenty minutes, so I didn't finish essay no. 1.

+ Made a new friend at the test!
- Because the officials who collected all our cell phones at the beginning couldn't find hers!
+ But it turned out later to have been in the wrong box. Phone recovered! I basically spent time lending her my phone so she could call her ride, and we swapped stories. She told me about being a teacher in Colombia and coming her, learning English, and testing to be a teacher here. I told her about trying to be a speech therapist.

+ Found a recipe for Amazing and Easy Lentils and Rice. It really was that easy. Used some frozen lamb stock I had in the freezer for flavor, garlic, onion and tomatoes, and it was delicious.
- (?) Mom said that everything in her bathroom smelled like it afterwards. :P
+ Food porn at Queen's house! Photographs to come! Poached pears, cake, and my lentils and rice, and wine/sparkling cider. All to try the burnt caramel sauce I bought when Queen and I went to the SF Farmer's Market at the Ferry Building. Guys? The term 'foodgasm' is utterly appropriate here.

- Work was so boring because of the rain. Pretty quiet.
---Murphy decided to liven things up. I'm not sure if I was klutzy, forgetful, or the machine just went haywire. We have a stack cutter for cutting edges off photographs. Very low-tech, a bar for holding the photos in place and a blade on a giant handle, like a giant cleaver. Usually I'll cut, then put the handle back to vertical where a little catch keeps it in place. This time as I was getting the cut photos out, the handle fell down. So I caught it -- blade-first on my fingers. UM, THE EASILY SQUICKED MAY WANT TO SKIP THIS PART WHICH SHALL BE BEHIND LJ-CUT )

+ Birthday dinner for my grandpa, turning 79! Uncle and aunt came in, there was cooking of delicious food like corn soup, steamed fish, eggplant, mushrooms galore, and more tasty veggies than you can shake a stick at. :D And awesome cake from my aunt's friend's bakery in Chinatown, spongecake with fruit and this awesome light frosting, not heavy like buttercream (I can't stand American desserts because of the heavy frosting).

+ Bro showed me this hilarious video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JruqUIjl5Sw
The Muppets doing Bohemian Rhapsody. You have not lived until you've seen this.

Okay, long enough! Hope all you darlings are doing wonderfully! ♥
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I'm so happy. I got a call about 2pm today, it was in the parking lot of a 7-11 convenience store about five blocks away from where they stole it. And apparently it had been dumped there the same night. The guy who owns the 7-11 was going to get it towed, but thankfully he called the police first. All the stuff (including all my textbooks) are still in there! \o/ The person(s) who stole it rifled through the glove box, but all they ended up taking that I could see is the third of a roll of quarters I had in the little cupholder thingy for parking meters.

*sighs with relief*

I still need to check with a credit monitoring agency or something, in case they took a copy of the registration papers that had my old address on it and tried to do some identify theft though. But the car is in essentially the same condition it went missing in, I just need to get some gas (luckily it was already in need of a fill-up when it was stolen, so less incentive to joyride?).

Yaaaaaay~ Off to class now~

ETA: Thanks so much to all of you for your good wishes. I gotta say, this past week, I've got awesome friends and co-workers. ♥
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A day late and a dollar short, as the saying goes. But anyhow!

I wanted to wish all you lovely dears Happy Lunar New Year!

I only know a few 4-character sayings, so I'll trot them all out for you, hehe. ♥

新年快乐!(Happy New Year!)
恭喜发财!(Most people know this as Gong Hay Fat Choy in Cantonese, aka lots and lots of prosperity to you!)
万事如意!(May all your affairs go smoothly in the way that you wish! *snerkaffairsIamtwelve*)
身体健康!(Good health to you!)
学习进步!(May your studies improve/go forward positively etc.!)

Hope you're all doing all right; feel free to bitch with me about the stuff that's being a pain.

On the personal front!
1. I applied for grad school! Communications Disorders and Sciences, to be a speech therapist. I should hear back sometime in April.

2. I'm learning to cook more! I made fried rice with fish cake for my family's new year dinner.

3. fandom-wise I'm currently going between my old love of Arashi and a new obsession with Super Junior-M. A canon in which I can actually kinda-sorta understand when they're talking. [livejournal.com profile] primroseshows is laughing at me, I can tell. The fic is good and the primary characters I read fic for remind me of Nino/Aiba/Jun in their various permutations.

4. There is no four? But I'm slowly changing my life in small steps, trying to get out of this rut. We'll see how this goes. My to do list includes unpacking more boxes from the move, replying to people's emails, finish my taxes so I can do the fafsa, and find a new job. Small steps, ehehehe.

5. All my love to you! I fail at being around, but I deeply appreciate your presence online, sharing the fun, the depressing, the crazy, the silly, the gamut of human experience. That's all for tonight. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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For those of you who haven't heard yet, last November California put civil rights up for a vote. Marriage equality. And it lost. Yeah, I know, and this is my home. >.<

This January, Proposition 8 was taken before a Ninth Circuit (Federal) judge to challenge it's constitutionality. Judge Walker took public comment and was going to allow the trial to be publicly televised and also broadcast on Youtube. Defendants (pro-8) appealed to the Supreme Court, who said nope, can't do it.

So! There are transcripts at a variety of wonderful places, such as http://prop8trialtracker.com, www.firedoglake.com (there's a few people writing there in several different posts, but there's always someone at trialtracker linking to the relevant posts in the comments), the San Jose Mercury News (My home newspaper! The link is to day 6, but just check out the sidebars), and the ever informative KQED public tv station.

And from the transcripts, the awesome people at http://marriagetrial.com/ will be putting up a re-enactment of the courtroom. Starting Wednesday, I believe. An article about what they're doing can be found here!
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Parts one and two here.

Reading these two parts of the liveblogging, and then the *comments*, goodness the comments. It's making me want to cry.

Dr. Ilan H. Meyer, Associate Professor of Clinical Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health is up. He will testify about the stigma and prejudice gay and lesbians individuals face in society.

The testimonies, the sociological and mental health data, the arguments are staggering. And then the community of commenters that have grown up around this liveblogging is just amazing. Different peoples' stories make me want to cry and cheer and rage, and everyone is so supportive of each other.
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So the Prop 8 trial in my good ol' state of California started Monday. Supreme Court ruled against allowing live media coverage. So much for transparency.

to try to make up for that, the Courage Campaign is doing live blogging from the courtroom.


Please check it out.

Reading through the first couple of days of courtroom summaries is amazingly edifying. A couple of the expert witnesses give us a crash course in the history of marriage in the United States, history of LGBT discrimination in the US, and lots of sociological tidbits. Also the folks commenting on the liveblogging are building into a thriving community, and people are sharing relevant links left and right.

Also! A hilariously relevant flash animation as SF Gate.
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Well, sort of. :D They jokingly refer to themselves as the oldest kpop idols currently in existence. Four member male vocal group Sweet Sorrow!

I discovered them last summer because someone on [livejournal.com profile] omonatheydidnt posted a video of them doing an a capella version of something by Super Junior. Their music is gorgeous.

Case in point: 5 minutes of music that is sexy and completely dorky by turns. :D

You may want to check out part 2 as well, if part 1 is interesting!

In other news, my computer is slooooooow. So [livejournal.com profile] flange5, I'll get to your chili post eventually. And tomorrow the Queen is coming over, and teaching me to cook Arabic food. So I'll be learning to make hummos (garbanzo beans with garlic and spices, mmm), a potato and cilantro salad, and kefta (beef and parsley and spices). *rubs hands together gleefully* I need to get up early and buy a mortar and pestle.

How are you darlings doing? <3
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I'm posting this from my mom's computer, because last night my brother turned it on, and it went from Compaq to a black screen, whirr-clicked for a bit, and then this message: Operating system not found. /o\

It also puts up a message about Incorrect Drive A, enter setup, but I think that's some kind of SOS because it doesn't have another way to express itself, since I haven't changed the floppy drive in any way. Won't boot from the CD, so I'm searching for another way. I bought this steady computer back in 2003, and it's worked, slow and steady til now. At least all the data's on a secondary harddrive, so I just have to get access to it.

In other news, got to meet up with [livejournal.com profile] erjika and most of the Lunch Bunch for the first time in...seven months? And erjika's setting off for Hawaii for work (omg envious) tomorrow, and T's back to the Caribbean for med school next week. I missed them, all of us together is a whole nother plane of weirdness. I always swear I'm going to bring a voice recorder to our gatherings because there are always hilarious quotes. This time mostly about balls, like the AC/DC song. :D Mmmm, tasty food. :D :D :D

Anyway yeah, I'm going to be flying to Saint Paul, Minnesota tomorrow morning for [livejournal.com profile] amoraj's wedding, will be there until September 1, so if anyone's in the area and wants to hang? Or if anyone has drabble prompts for me to write on the plane? ^__^

Much love to all <3
rhythmia: (Default)
First things first:

Happy birthday my dear [livejournal.com profile] erjika <3!

You probably won't see this until you make it back to the land of internet access, so here's hoping your day was spent without having to machete your way through poky plants, you found some nifty rare species of herp or bird, and you had tasty food. heart1 We'll have dessert wine to celebrate when you come back. ^^
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I'll be getting to the comments from the other posts in just a bit. Ehehehe, I don't think I've posted this much since I went to Taiwan last year, and I appreciate the comments and debates going on. Just so you know, I haven't left Arashi behind; there's some stuff in the works but since I've been following what's going on in Iran I haven't quiiiite finished it up yet.

Anyhow, an interesting set of three perspectives in the Room For Debate section of the NYT.

Teaser: We asked three Iranian-American scholars, including two who are writing from Iran, to give their thoughts on what the uprising has revealed about the schisms in Iranian society."

The Arabs' Forlorn Envy of Iranians. It's kind of a provocative title, but the analysis of different views of what's going on in Iran from the perspectives of various Arab nations is quite interesting.

Related to that, The Arab world reacts (or doesn't). In the NYT Room For Debate section.

Mixed Media also takes a look at the varied response in the newspapers in Arab states.

Also, you can always count on the Daily Show for something funny and insightful. Has embedded video. Jon Stewart: "I just want to garden!" Also they manage to interview (in classic Daily Show fashion) three major figures before they got arrested.

Next set of articles are ones I've been bookmarking the past few days, concerning the women's movement in Iran, and women's position.

First up, this one's during the campaign, Zahra Rahnavard's work in her husband Mousavi's campaign. In the LA Times. An interesting comparison with our Secretary of State.

Right after the election, in huffingtonpost: Iranian Women: We Feel Cheated, Frustrated, And Betrayed.

This one's neat: The Lesley Stahl Interview: Christiane Amanpour, at the Height of the Iranian Election Crisis. Eight (short) pages of fascinating interview, including analysis of the Green movement, on the role of women in Iran's history, and her role as a journalist.

And finally, Democracy, made in Iran, from the Guardian on Iran's complicated history with the U.S.

ETA From Narcosphere, Brainstorming Iran: An X-Ray of Immediate History. A more, hmmm. I'm not sure of the proper label that applies, since left-wing doesn't really fit. But an activist view of things? Very interesting breakdown.

ETA 2 Family, friends mourn 'Neda,' Iranian woman who died on video. She's a symbol of the movement now, but this article is about her as a person, before the martyr.

ETA 3 An Exclusive Interview with a Pro-Ahmadinejad Cleric in Qom, Iran. Another viewpoint, though you can kind of tell the interviewer's biases. Read between the lines, as with any of the articles I'm linking.
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Even in a Tainted Election, Voting Still Matters. By Azadeh Moaveni. A bit of history, the run up to the election.

This election is making me think a lot about the way we run our elections here. I've always voted absentee. And now I'm wondering, I need to do some research - are my ballots actually counted? Should I change to voting in person in my precinct? I'll be getting back to you about that, if I find anything.


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